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"Here are questions to ask to find out what you really want in your dating life: If I could wave a proverbial magic wand, what would I have in a good partner or date? Once you learn how you handle conflict, looking for a partner that is good at navigating conflict is key.” want in a partner.
"If you want to find out what you want, start with what you don't want,” Amica Graber, founder of dating blog Truth Finder, tells Bustle. But after experiencing a few of them, you'll learn to recognize traits and behaviors that you're not interested in — making them a lot easier to spot (and avoid) in the future.”If you're ever unsure whether someone's a good match for you or not, think about these two questions.
We either get what we want, or we learn to be happy with what we have. The choice is up to us.”One way to start identifying your values is by thinking about your lifestyle.
"Is it important that you attend church every Sunday?
“There isn’t a class in school on how to express our needs, and there’s also a huge cultural shame around women asking for what they need — we’re afraid to come off 'selfish,' 'needy,' 'bitchy,' or 'aggressive.' The reality is that if we don’t ask for what we need from our partners, they are never going to know, and not going to be able to give it to you."If you've ever continued to date someone you were on the fence about, in hopes you'd eventually come around to liking them because they're someone you "should" be with, there's a good reason why.
"Women are told by parents, society, their own negative self-talk, etc., that they must fit some mold rather than lead with their own preferences,” life coach and relationship expert Diana Mitchem tells Bustle. There is no need to feel guilty when you are personally clear about the kind of person with whom you are looking to connect."So, in order to get past these hurdles and find clarity in exactly what you're looking for, here are 17 ways to figure out what your exact needs in dating are, according to experts.
“Recognize what’s important to you — whether it’s your religious beliefs and your relationship with parents or your career-driven attitude — and look for those same qualities in your significant other.
She says it eliminates the focus on factors that really aren't important to a relationship, like someone's height or profession. "Then ask yourself some empowering questions, such as, why is it important for me to feel this way?Then, take some words that come to mind when looking at your thoughts and create a 'non-negotiable' list, one that you can reference when starting to date someone new.Revisit and adjust as you continue to grow.”If you're struggling to think of what qualities are important to you or who you'd be compatible with, try an online quiz to kick things off. Family, spirituality, or a healthy lifestyle perhaps?If you or your [partner] has to 'change' your core being in order to make a relationship 'work,' you're probably with the wrong person! Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
What might potentially hold you back from achieving the perfect dating life you’re looking for?