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When you talk about your life and she gives wise counsel, voice your appreciation of her objective, reasonable, time-tested advice as something you never would have thought of yourself.
When he helps you work through a problem, tell him that you appreciate him partnering with you because his input helps you built to a more complete solution. I met my hubby at a time when he was going through some major life changes – a move to a completely new city on the other side of the US without any family or friends to support him.
Tell her that your differences really complement one another (because they do! Though we connected like lightning right off the bat, it took lots of patience and maturity on my end for 3-4 months before he was truly committed.
As he put it, “It takes me a while to build confidence in someone, but once I’m there I give my heart completely.” We were married a year after the first day we met. 🙂 Your Turn The trick is to give this person the room to grow in affection for you.
🙂 Give your Gold Beaver time to get to know you slowly.You will tend to want to make this person the center of your world. Just as it is normal to fill a conversational void, it is normal to try to fill a void in presence. Show this person you are independent and can get along just fine without him or her, but still appreciate and enjoy their company.DON’T try to manipulate a commitment to you faster, because it will backfire. Those techniques don’t draw this type in, they push this type away.Just live your own life with your own friends and taking care of your own responsibilities.ISTJ types appreciate confident partners who have it all together and can stand on their own two feet. This type gets a kick out of “rescuing” someone, especially when that person is self-sufficient and the “rescue” is low-key.
I see this with the relationships I come across in the Myers-Briggs® world as well.