Dating impotent man
For those of you who think impotence is a man’s problem, consider the woman’s perspective.
She starts off feeling unattractive because she can’t do something as simple as turning her man on.
I stayed with him for a few months but eventually the relationship broke down. But we stayed together for over a year because we got along so well together.
I felt very badly for him, since it was due to his problem which he didn’t seem to be able to fix. He said that I “embarrassed” him, because I was “too beautiful.” He explained that when we walked into a room, he could hear the heads click as they turned, and he could sense the men speculating on the size of his sexual equipment. However, after about a year his problem was resolved and he was able to perform.
It reached a point where we pretended that the problem didn’t exist because he didn’t want to talk about it. There was only so much I could do; it was up to him to resolve it and I couldn’t force him.
Eventually, he visited a sexual health expert and was told his problem was neurological.
So, the passion went out the window faster than you can say hello.
I learnt this crucial difference in this situation.
In their absence, I learned to appreciate joint cookouts and combined love for cinema. Our married friends would ask why we hadn’t tied the knot yet. He seemingly had been in two serious relationships before me and “things were fine”. It has taken me years since that relationship to build a positive body image; a ballpark estimate is 10 years.
Meanwhile, I was fully committed and kept up appearances of being in a delightful bond for the sake of our friends. One muggy Sunday afternoon at one of our cookouts, his friend’s nosey wife had had enough of being diplomatic. It was as confusing for him as it was harmful to our relationship and I know that deep down, it destroyed him.
He said, “You want something that I’m not prepared to give.” He hasn’t called me since.
Considering my recent dating history, one of my friends said: “You must be a real ball breaker.” Now I feel there’s something wrong with ME.
By then, the damage (to her psyche and emotional health) has already been wrought. for seven-odd years that I was in a relationship with a guy who had erectile dysfunction.