Ask guy dating your daughter
Girls who've set their sights on older guys, beware.Dating a guy who's in high school when you're still in middle school, or who's a senior when you're still a freshman might seem cool, but it could get you into a lot of trouble.One out of every four teens has been verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by the person they're dating, according to the CDC. Finally, never get so wrapped up in another person that you forget who you are.ANY TIME someone you're dating demeans you, forces you to do something you don't want to do, or hits you -- get out of that relationship. By dressing sexy to impress your date or acting in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, you lose your sense of self."I think people are ready at different times," says L.Kris Gowen, Ph D, Ed M, a researcher in sexual and mental health at the Portland State University School of Social Work.Once you -- and your parents -- feel ready and you've found someone you like and who likes you, you can start going out.But when you begin any new relationship, take it slow.
It could be because they're very conservative, or because they remember how they acted during their own teen years."There's a big difference between a seventh-grader and a ninth-grader when it comes to experimentation," Gowen says.By the time they're in high school, guys may have gone a lot further than you're ready to go."Just because a girl looks like she's 16 when she's only 11, it doesn't mean that psychologically or emotionally she's ready to date older boys...they are so much more skilled at this dating game than she would be, and they can manipulate her and hurt her," says Laura Choate, Ed D, a licensed professional counselor, associate professor of counselor education at Louisiana State University, and author of the book, Girls' and Women's Wellness: Contemporary Counseling Issues and Interventions.
"Have you had a talk with yourself to say, 'Am I comfortable with kissing somebody, holding their hand, undressing to a certain level, caressing? These are decisions you need to make ahead of time -- not when you're in the middle of a make-out session and your date is pressuring you to go further.